Yunnan 18 Oddities: Monks can have love affairs

One of the most intriguing cultural traits of Yunnan, as part of the “Eighteen Oddities of Yunnan,” is that “monks can have love affairs” (和尚可以谈恋爱). This seemingly paradoxical practice is influenced by the region’s proximity to Southeast Asian countries, many of which have unique Buddhist traditions.

Cultural Context and Influences

Yunnan borders several Southeast Asian countries that practice Buddhism, such as Thailand, Myanmar, and Laos. In these countries, it is common for men to spend a period in a monastery as monks, similar to how people elsewhere might attend school or serve in the military. This temporary monastic life is part of a cultural and spiritual journey, after which individuals can choose to disrobe, marry, and start families.

This practice has influenced the border regions of Yunnan, where it is not unusual to see men in monk robes engaging in courtship. Unlike the permanent monastic vows in other forms of Buddhism, this practice allows for a more flexible approach to monastic life, reflecting a blend of cultural and religious traditions.

Courtship and Marriage in Dai Ethnic Culture

The Dai ethnic group in Yunnan has unique courtship rituals, particularly evident during the months of the lunar calendar, typically around March and April. This period is known as the time for young Dai men and women to seek partners. One of the traditional practices involves the preparation and offering of special dishes, such as yellow-braised chicken, which serves as a medium for expressing romantic interest.

Traditional Courtship Process

In the Dai villages, young women prepare yellow-braised chicken and place it on the streets, waiting for potential suitors. If a young man is interested, he will compliment the dish and inquire if it has been reserved for someone. If the woman is not interested, she might suggest the dish is already reserved, politely indicating her lack of interest. However, if she is interested, she will offer the dish to the young man, initiating a deeper conversation.

The woman hides a small stool under her long skirt, and if she likes the suitor, she will invite him to sit on it, signifying her acceptance. They might then move to a more private area, like a bamboo grove, to continue their conversation and develop their relationship further.

Impact of Monastic Practices on Courtship

The practice of temporary monastic life allows young men to experience spiritual growth while still maintaining the freedom to return to secular life. This cultural practice blurs the lines between monastic and secular life, allowing monks to participate in traditional courtship and eventually leave the monastic life to marry.

In Yunnan, this flexibility is visible in the lifestyle of the Dai people and other ethnic groups, where the balance between religious duty and personal life is more fluid. This results in a unique cultural oddity where monks can engage in love affairs and eventually return to lay life without social stigma.

Conclusion

The oddity that “monks can have love affairs” in Yunnan is a testament to the region’s rich cultural tapestry, influenced by neighboring Southeast Asian traditions. It highlights the unique blend of religious practices and social norms that define the lives of the people in this diverse province. The practice showcases a harmonious integration of spiritual and personal lives, contributing to the distinct cultural identity of Yunnan.